How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
