She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
