You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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