first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
