Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
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