i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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