I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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