Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
