Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
