so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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