She's like a pop up book from hell.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
