Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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