We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
