You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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