I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
