Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
