Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I puked a lego.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
