My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
