So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize