Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
