She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize