So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
