i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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