he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
