Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
