is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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