Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
