you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
