return my video game
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
