i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
