i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
