Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
