I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
