How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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