omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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