I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
