He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My legs feel like baby dolphins
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
