Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize