I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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