How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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