I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
