my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
