I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
