I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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