How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
