i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
