i think i have herpe
just one?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
