He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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