I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
