I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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