im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
