i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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