Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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