so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize