Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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