When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
