Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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