We won't sleep together?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize