how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
