brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
