As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
