The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
