Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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