You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
